Here is my first confession. Samantha Emerald is not my real name.
I am not going to tell you my real name because it wouldn’t be respectful to my patients or to the men that are going through this process with me. But let me tell you a little bit about me and why I am writing this blog. I am a baby boomer divorced mother of two who lives in Greenwich Village with my dog. I have two children, both living away from home. I adore them both and when they were growing up they were my primary focus outside of work. However, now that they are grown I have all of the freedom that was unthinkable during their growing years when I was a single mother and raising them. Now is the perfect time to find someone to share my newfound freedom and see the world. You can’t find a partner without dating, so here I am again, navigating the dating universe, a universe that has changed considerably since I was last in the game.
The problem is that I am totally and utterly confused by this dating game. I know that a woman writing about her experiences after divorce re-entering this world in and of itself is not unique in any way. The new rules of dating are confusing to everyone, even the most confident and self-assured. But I should know better because I have been a relational and couples therapist for many years. I have worked with hundreds of couples, helping them to better understand each other. I have worked with countless men and women individually to be “relationship ready.” I have recommended strategies that have helped people connect and grow their connection for over a decade. I feel very comfortable and confident with the work that I have done with my patients, so here’s the big question. How can someone who has helped so many people for so many years be so stumped in her own personal dating life? I thought perhaps if we do this together, I can learn what I have been teaching others for all this time.
I will tell you about myself and the experiences in my life that relate to my dating experiences. I will interview my friends and family (the ones that have made it work) to find out if they have any insight. I will go back to the theories that I have learned from my extensive training to see if they are helpful to me in real life situations. Hopefully, all of this will help me figure things out.
I want to share with you my journey, warts and all, to finding the one…or not. I hope you will join me.